My greeting to my husband this morning...

"Cr*p! The alarm didn't go off!"

Realizing how rude an awakening that must have been, I said, "What I meant to say is, 'Good morning! Cr*p! The alarm didn't go off!'"

It was 5:44 a.m., 19 minutes after the alarm actually HAD started going off on my cell phone, which was safe inside my purse. On the kitchen counter. I'd forgotten to bring it upstairs and plug it in before bed.

Still got to work on time, though...